Life Before Death

 I am a member of a hospice community forum, and they brought this amazing video series to my attention.  All of the videos are well worth watching.  They are amazing!
 

http://www.youtube.com/user/LifeBeforeDeathMovie

Barred Owl

I have had the coolest sight in the morning on my walks.  The other morning while walking on the lake path, I flushed a large bird.  I followed it with my eyes and discovered a barred owl perched in a willow about 15 feet from the path.  We just silently looked at each other for a long time.  Suddenly, it began to raise it's shoulders and cry with a "screeeee".  Then it would pause, and then call with a "screeeee".   The longer I stood still, the more calm it became, until it stopped calling. 
I continued on my walk and passed many people walking, running, talking and being loud.  I figured that the owl would be long gone on my return loop.  As I passed the spot, I didn't see the owl and thought for sure it was gone.  A closer look led me right to it, in the same spot in the tree.  A woman was walking past and I quietly motioned for her to look.  She couldn't find it at first either, but eventually did, and she asked me how in the world I ever spotted it.  I shared my story with her.
The following day, there was no owl.  On the third day, I saw it and stopped.  It looked strange, as if something was wrong with it's head.  I took some cautious steps closer and realized that a second owl was perched right behind it.  I stood for a long time just staring at the magnificence of these two creatures.  I realized that time had probably gotten away from me, so I began to walk away when I noticed a third owl on the branch above the pair I had been watching.  Wow! 
Now that I know what their little "screeeee" cry sounds like, I hear the two that I don't normally see, calling to one another in the nearby trees, while the bold owl sits perched in the willow and looks at me.  I feel so very blessed to have this rare opportunity to look at such magnificent creatures in nature. 

Here's a link to some barred owl facts:
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/birding/barred-owl/ 

Transformation in photos

Recently I took a class entitled "Midwifing Death"at the Aslan Institute.  Although the title is somewhat upsetting to some, it was a fascinating class.  We learned how to assist people in their spiritual journey as they pass on.  It was an amazing two days.  

 At the end of the class, one of the instructors  brought in a big box with dozens of Monarch caterpillars.  She gave 6 or so to anyone interested in raising the caterpillars.  I took seven and every morning picked the fresh milkweed they eat .  I was amazed at how much those little things ate (and pooped) and just how fast they grew.  One by one, they all made cocoons.  Well after one week, all but one of the cocoons turned black and the beautiful monarchs hatched.  It was an absolutely remarkable front row seat to transformation.

What is ripe for transformation in your own life?  Growth and change can be uncomfortable.  Transformation can also lead to things beyond our wildest imaginations!  Enjoy the series of photos!

Reverie Harp

I have the most delightful patient right now. "June" served as a missionary and has the most interesting life story, including raising 7 children!  I often strum on the Reverie Harp when I visit with patients.  It is wonderful if they are sleeping, unconscious, or unable to communicate.  My current patient, June, is usually sleeping when I stop in to see her, so I sit quietly and play the harp in her room.  Several weeks ago, she was awake when I arrived.  She was all excited to ask me if I had been there the week before and if I had played the harp for her.  I told her that I had been there and did play the harp.  She told me that even though she was asleep and dreaming, the music wove into her dreams and she found it so comforting and beautiful.  I was so happy.  I have played so many time for people who are non verbal or who pass away without regaining consciousness.  With what June told me, I now think that they can hear me playing and are comforted.  What a wonderful confirmation.  

Please go Away

I can't imagine that I haven't posted since February.  So much has been going on, including amazing weather and a beautiful and early Spring!

I was visiting a patient that I have been seeing every week since last summer.  She loves the male deacon/hospice chaplain that I travel with, and lights up whenever he comes into the room.  It's a thing of beauty to watch.  Several weeks ago, we saw a major change in her.  She began sleeping more and more, and was often very sleepy or confused during our visits.  About two weeks ago, when we arrived, we sat quietly in her room.  She woke after a bit and asked us to leave.  She said that she didn't want visitors.  

I tell you this because this may be part of the process for someone you love.  It can be shocking or hurtful to hear.  When my partner and I reflected on the experience, we thought of a few things.  Once we removed our ego from the interaction, the request wasn't at all shocking.  She was tired and not feeling well.  We started to think about how pleased we were that she felt comfortable to speak her mind with us.  Being on the outside of the goings-on in some patient rooms, we often see someone in the last days of their life feeling like they have to entertain a litany of guests, when they are exhausted or uncomfortable.

Our patient was being honest with us, and we could support her by leaving.  Knowing that she loved to pray, we realized that we could offer support in many additional ways, like prayer, letting the nurses know that she may not want visitors, and letting the family know that the patient was changing.   Honoring her wishes was giving her the support that she asked for.

It can be difficult to forgo asserting your agenda into such a situation.  We were there to visit.  We were going to brighten her day.  She loves the chaplain.  Maybe she didn't understand that he was her visitor.  Like I said, ego can make a mess of things.  The best thing we can sometimes do for a patient is to give them what they long for.  It may be difficult to turn visitors away, but it may be the right thing to do. 

Luckily for us, we have been to see the patient again, and although she is often living in the past, it is delightful to visit and learn about her life. Both the chaplain and I  feel so blessed to have each visit.  If a time comes again when she doesn't want to see us, we will have to accept that as part of her individual journey.

 

I'm Ready World

Lately, I have been thinking about what I really love - hospice work.  I love so many aspects of it.  For a long time I have held the belief that people don't come into this world alone, and they should not leave this world alone.  When I was 14, I lost a brother in a car accident and have always wondered if he felt alone or if he died without that knowledge or feeling.  In my hospice work, we don't often care for people who have no one, but it does happen.  Sometimes, family lives far away, and they are doing their best to get to their loved one, but travel can be unpredictable.  
I decided that I would like to actually do Vigil work.   As a doctor, midwife, or doula  aids in bringing a child into the world, vigil work or death midwifery, respectfully ushers people out of this world.  Now, keep in mind, I am not referring to physically doing anything that would speed up the process like some "death doctors" who have been in the news.  I would just like to be a peaceful loving presence that stays with a person in whatever way brings them the greatest comfort.  Sometimes, I find that putting these things "out there" via blog posting or conversation is like telling the universe, "I am ready to do this work, so help to prepare me."  I really think that I was born to do this work, and I am looking forward to the journey of preparation and participation.

A Positive Attitude Goes a Long Way

I wanted to share this great 10 minute TED video that talks about how a positive attitude can actually change everything.  No one is implying that life is always easy or without struggles, but is your glass half empty or half full?  Make it an hour, a day, and a week of seeing the positive side of life. 
Click TED to see the video