Ever since my computer gasped its final breath, I have been taking my daily walk as if I would write a post about it when I got home. I have found that I pay attention to things that may have just passed me right by in a different frame of mind. In October, I listened as the grass changed from its gentle green swishing to the scraping of the brown ends as they crossed in the breezes. The leaves on the dirt path were soft underfoot even though they were brightly colored yellow and red.
The most wonderful thing happened to me last Friday. As I was on my return loop of my walk, I flushed a huge dark bird. I couldn't see what it was but I kept my eyes on the general area where it landed. I thought that it was probably a crow, but something told me to pay attention and keep my eyes peeled. As I neared the area where I thought it may have landed, I flushed it again, and it flew toward me before heading out over the lake. "It" was a stunning great gray owl! I have never seen an owl and it got close enough for me to see the rings around its face. I was absolutely breathless, and rooted in one spot as I watched it fly away. I had to ask myself if I had really just seen such a beautiful creature. My cup was running over with gratitude for the magic of the day!
I tend to be a person who has a lot of shoulds in her life. I have begun to adopt more get tos in my life. About a month ago I left all of the cleaning, yard work and other busy things and drove to Interstate Park in Wisconsin. I spent the afternoon with my extended family who happened to be camping there. I was rewarded with a fantastic day, breath-taking scenery, and great memories. Sometimes, I am truly amazed at all of the fantastic parks, trails, and scenery that are so close. This was a day that I felt so very fortunate to have left all of my shoulds behind. I won't remember that the house wasn't dusted, but this and other pictures will be with me for years to come! Get out and enjoy what surrounds you. Breathe in the wonder and beauty of nature! You'll be so glad that you did.
Well, my laptop died and with it all of my log ins and information. I haven't posted in ages. It was paralyzing but I prevailed!
Last weekend I took a drive South on beautiful highway 61 to Wabasha MN. I visited the National Eagle Center there and spent several hours trying to take in as much information as possible about this stunning creature! I asked a stranger to take my photo with a live eagle. This is Harriet. She was injured when she was leaving the nest, and she cannot fly. She weighs about 20 lbs and is very friendly since she has spent most of her life at the Center. It was a magical day for me to bond with a bird that has always seemed so rare and powerful to me. I found it worth every bit of the 2.5 hour drive, and I plan to go back this winter to see the population swell outside where the Mississippi stays open all winter. The eagles ride the ice floes and feed off of dead fish that rise with the currents. What a great day!
I had a great walk with my hubby today. He had a rare day off and we made the most of it. We walked around the lake, now lush and green with leaves and branches hanging across our path. It was pretty sticky, but still a lovely day. We checked on the progress of 2 properties that had their buckthorn removed. Now the other non-invasive species have a fighting chance for survival. It totally changed the landscape. It is a lot of work to get rid of the buckthorn in an area, but the pay back is enormous. Later in the day, we were driving down a dirt road and we spied a Great Egret perched in a tree right next to the road. I haven't seen that too many times in my life. In the blink of an eye, we spotted a male belted Kingfisher on a fence overlooking a stream.
It's amazing what one can see when we slow down to look around us!
I just visited with one of my amazing patients yesterday. I was struck by her honesty and candor. When I was there I asked if she was in any pain. She was not. In hospice, the goal is for the patients to be as pain free as possible.
I had just spent 90 minutes at an in-service dealing with physical vs. spiritual pain. The premise was that if a patient has unresolved spiritual pain, it can manifest in physical symptoms, or it can be misunderstood by the patient and/or caregivers as physical pain. Often the result is medication.
What my dear friend and I got to is that she is frightened. She knows that she is in hospice, and that her time is limited. What she was wondering about was if her new declined state would be the new status quo or if she was in a downward spiral. I spent some very treasured time just listening to her concerns and letting her cry while we held hands. Then we talked about what it might mean if this was the "new her" or if things were going to decline.
It was an important moment for me. I realized that upon initially asking her if she was in pain, both of us were thinking of the physical pain that she is asked about countless times each day. What she needed to come to grips with and let out was the spiritual pain of the uncertainty that she was feeling. That took some time and talking to uncover. So often, the care-givers are rushed due to their mountainous work load, and they don't have the time to just sit and talk.
My wish for everyone, patient and care-giver, is that there is someone in their lives who can just come and sit. Sometimes, the patient is in need of a good listener and hand-holder, and sometimes that is the need of the care-giver.
A dear, dear friend of mine just lost her father to cancer. She ran herself ragged between her family in one town, and her parent's home in a town 4 hours away. She didn't know how long any of them had. She shared with me, the hours that she laid in bed with her father. They just talked, or looked at photos, or even watched bad daytime tv together. She told me that the memories from that time are among her most precious. I don't know if she remembers how many loads of laundry she did, or how many bedpans she emptied, but she has crystal clarity of the times when the two of them were just quietly together. It gave them time to talk about her father's hopes, fears, and the mark that he left on this earth and in the heart of everyone who knew him. What an amazing gift!
Pay attention to the spiritual care of the family. Find the help that makes it possible to "just be" sometimes, and see what comes up for exploration or release. It is the ultimate gift!
Well, I have been scratching my head at the lack of blooming plants in my back gardens. Upon closer inspection over the weekend, I saw that the top of my phlox had been eaten. I wondered if the pesky rabbits were to blame. This morning I was sitting on my screen porch writing in my journal when the cats went to high alert. I looked up to see what had gotten their attention. A doe and two fawn were ambling across my back yard on their way to the woods. It was amazing to see, and it helped me to solve the mystery of the chewed up plants!
Last night while chatting with neighbors, one reported that there had been a coyote sighting less than a mile away. Sometimes I forget that we really are out in the country. It reminded me that years ago a friend was telling me about a coyote pack that was roaming a suburb. Small children had to be supervised when outside, and pets that were leashed or in electric fencing were in danger. The dogs were confined to the invisible fence or leash, but the coyotes were not, and they used that to their advantage while hunting. It feels a bit like Wild Kingdom around here lately.
I did have a great bird sighting over the 4th. I was on the Lake Woebegon trail up near St. John's University when I spotted a red bird dart by. I realized that it wasn't a cardinal because the wings were black. I looked it up and sure enough, it was a Scarlet Tanager. I have only seen two of those in my life time. We were roller blading on the trail and trying to find another wonder- a crop of wild lady slippper that was blooming. We had to make two trips to find it, and it was almost spent. The heat of the weekend had faded what must have been amazing blooms!
